If you’re like me, you’ve never blogged before. But, as you can see, I am already really good at it. So here is a post on how I got my blog so good and how you can do the same in 10 steps.
Step 1: Really Good Hosting Service
There are a few options available to you for website hosting services or whatever they’re called. I am using WordPress, so you should too if you want your blog to be any good, like mine.
Making an account is easy. They don’t even do a criminal background check, which is great for someone like me.
Just follow these simple steps:
Type wordpress.com into your searchy bar or click one of the bluey wordpress.com links in this sentence.
Step 2: Really Good Start
Today is March 22, 2017 and this is what you should see until WordPress updates its website in the future sometime:
Click that “Get Started” button, stallion.
Step 3: Really Good Site
If you want to have a really good blog like me, hit START WITH A BLOG. The other options are for posers.
Step 4: Really Good Theme (Part 1)
This part is dumb because it doesn’t have the theme I chose. If you want your blog to be really good, choose the same theme as me.
Scroll down and click SKIP FOR NOW.
Step 5: Really Good Domain Name
Now type “thisisxyzsblog”, where x is your first name, y is your middle name(s), z is your last name, and s is the letter s. Your blog domain must match this format in order for it to be really good.
Once you do this, select the Free option because spending money is for posers.
“…spending money is for posers.”
-Justin Isaiah Dwyer, 2017
Step 6: Really Good Plan
You now encounter a page that asks you to either
- Not spend money
- Spend some money
- Spend more money (POPULAR)
- Spend a lot of money
You should do the not spend money option (AKA “Free”) if you want your blog to be really good. If you do the POPULAR option, your blog will be too mainstream.
Click the “Select Free” button and experience a regret level increase of 0.
Step 7: Really Good Account Details
Make sure you have a Gmail email address; otherwise, you don’t deserve to be on the internet and can’t have a really good anything, let alone a really good blog.
Your really good username is up to your interpretation.
Make sure your password is strong by following the sage guidelines of LastPass, the internet’s premier password authority.
Now hit “Create My Account”.
WARNING: Turns out Jimmy John Joe is a real person and I accidentally sent him a real email confirming this fake blog. Be sure to use your name, not Jimmy John Joe’s name.
Step 8: Almost a Really Good Blog
Congratulations, you have a blog that is almost really good!
Take a minute to admire what you have, but remember, you still don’t have a really good theme.
Step 9: Really Good Theme (Part 2)
Click the “Themes” button on the sidebar under “Personalize”.
In the search bar, type “radcliffe”.
Click on the Radcliffe theme, champ.
Press the “Activate this design” button, you winner, you.
Step 10: You Have a Really Good Blog
Some people will tell you that you need content in order to have a really good blog.
That is not true.
If you followed all the steps above, you now have a really good blog. Anything you do with it from here on out is optional.
XOXO,
Justin Isaiah Dwyer
This is Justin Isaiah Dwyer's Blog 